…Of Pursuit and Proverbs 31 Women

I personally think the MOST attractive thing about the PROVERBS 31 Woman is her AUTONOMY!
Her ability to MAKE things happen gloriously independent of the MAN!
Now, If this is unattractive to you as an aspiring Bachelor, (or as a man in general) then move right along ( Nothing to see here),
because in all candor, Her INDEPENDENCE Is a trait only KINGS and people already secure in their IDENTITY could truly appreciate, be totally drawn to and not be in the least INTIMIDATED by.
Now, In order for us to fully understand WHAT the impressive quality of traits in this EXTRAORDINARY woman were for, we need to understand the PREMISE of that passage of scripture.
This was an intimate MOTHER and SON conversation,
a QUEEN to PRINCE rapport about the KIND of Man he was to be,
and based on his EXTRAORDINARY calling, she went on to outline the PERFECT woman for the JUST King.
( as ‘maternal matchmaking’ tends to be the inevitable norm with Mother and Son conversations about the Son’s future,)
Now I don’t mean ‘perfect‘ in the general and objective sense of the word, but subjectively PERFECT. Perfect for HIS context, and in light of HIS duties to the THRONE.  So from DEFAULT, Proverbs 31 is a ‘manifesto‘ of the IDEAL TRAITS of a FUTURE QUEEN,
Ergo, ( at the risk of redundancy), if you’re a COMMON MAN, looking for a COMMON HOUSEWIFE, The Proverbs 31 Gal is NOT FOR YOU BUBBA!!!!

(Your ‘commoner’s charm‘ MIGHT win you the girl,
But The MAINTENANCE thereof would KILL you!)
(Now that THAT’S out of the way, PRINCES and PROVERBS 31 future Queens, Shall we..?)

The PROVERBS 31 Woman is FOR the Proverbs 31 Man! Only KING Lemuel, a man AT THE GATES and  an inhabiter of the higher echelons of society and places of INFLUENCE could be COMPREHENDED, and consequently COMPLEMENTED by that kind of WOMAN.

Now Ladies, If by discipline, hard work and GOD’S GRACE you find yourself embodying PROVERBS 31 traits, DO NOT WASTE TIME with ANYONE less than a KING!
That’s the ONLY way your conjugal union will work, because a STRONG woman, needs a STRONGER shoulder to LEAN on, and a SECURE, INDEPENDENT Woman, needs a stronger MISSION, to show SUBMISSION to.
Any man less than a ‘KING’ would pull you down through their insecurities, and whittle you down to a mess of bitter regret and unfulfilled dreams.
Now in the tedium of vetting the ‘compendium of candidates’ you are OBVIOUSLY attracting (as a Prov 31 gal), the 2 most ESSENTIAL things to ask God to endow you with, for use in this process of selection are
WISDOM is essential to KNOWING real SECURITY of IDENTITY when you see it. I mean past the ‘demo tapes’ and embellished personalities your suitors need you to see, You have to be able to honestly ask and answer the questions, “IS THIS MAN TRULY CONFIDENT IN HIMSELF, AND IN HIS CALLING!?”
See CONFIDENCE is imperative, and definitely a NONNEGOTIABLE, because AS A WOMAN, you are meant to partner with, and be ultimately defined by that confidence, for IF  that confidence ever wanes in the face of trials. or is fundamentally flaky then it will ULTIMATELY undermine your overall effectiveness as a WORLD CHANGER, and will hinder you from being the FULL EXPRESSION of that Proverbs 31 woman.
TRUE CONFIDENCE stems from CLARITY of calling, therefore, if his VISION is unsure, so should YOUR chances of joining yourself to him be.
Once you see a man who has passed your initial ‘WISDOM‘ screening and is FULLY CONFIDENT in himself and his calling, then the NEXT thing you need is DISCERNMENT!
Ah Discernment!
(That UNCANNY God-given ability to quite literally see beyond seeing.)
Discernment will IMMEDIATELY identify for you the difference between CONFIDENCE and NARCISSISM!
That UNHEALTHY and TOXIC obsession with self. Even though CONFIDENCE and NARCISSISM  may seem similar at face value, they each stem from DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSITE root systems, and one is as virulent as the other is life-giving.
See I won’t lie, CONFIDENCE is ULTRA sexy! And that appeal isn’t ‘gender specific’ either.
We as humans are DRAWN to ‘Alphas’ and their compelling ‘magnetism.’ A man is instantly attracted to a confident woman, and women are mesmerized by confident men.
The FRUIT may appear to be the same, the visible expression might look like self confidence,’
But whereas lesser Women would seal their precious fates based on the aesthetics of the FRUIT,
The ROOT of that confidence should be the deciding factor for the ladies as to WHO gets to sing YOUR praises at the gates!… (the Husband in the Proverbs 31 context)
Ladies, NARCISSISM is a GIANT NO-NO!, because no matter how gilded, embellished or superficially attractive it may initially seem, it fundamentally screams ‘MEEE’ all the time,
and for that very reason will HAMSTRING your 31 mandate of ‘GIVING’ to the WORLD.
Now ‘God instilled CONFIDENCE’ on the other hand, or
stems from a confident humility based on the unshakeable foundation of a deep and healthy knowledge of WHO sends you,
WHO goes BEFORE you,
and WHO is changing the world THROUGH you!
A man who understands THAT level of DIVINE DEPENDABILITY at a FUNDAMENTAL and FOUNDATIONAL level will NEVER have a problem uplifting you, developing your God-given giftings and taking YOU to the NEXT level as God elevates the both of y’all.…LITERALLY,
for that is what MEN were created to do. TEND and CULTIVATE their God-given charges.
Ladies, a TRUE KING, a man of INFLUENCE and STATURE, will definitely love, honor, complement and empower you so he can praise you at the GATES!
THAT’S the FIRST thing you look for, is he DESTINED for the gates!
If so, then HE is truly WORTHY of that first date.
IMPOSSIBLY high standards you say?
Well, I’m sure I ECHO the sentiments of EVERY Prince when I say, We WILL pay the premium for THAT Kind of woman.
our DESTINY mandates it!



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